The Second Annual Golden Lotion Awards - Book II: This Time It's Personal

It's that time of the year again folks.

2013 was a big year in gaming. There were some very high profile releases, smaller independent developers continued to grab a bigger slice of the pie, and after what seems like several decades, the next generation of consoles finally, finally arrived (Oh, what's that about the Wii U?). Like always, there were some nice surprises and some terrible disappointments.

Join us now as we crack open the bottle to reveal the winners of...

 

Agreeing to a Sausage McMuffin Unknowingly #21: Dead Hungry Diner

I'm a zombie, you know what I mean. And I do my little turn on the catwalk.

Branbekka Plays the Hits: #20 Dungeon Hearts

Finally. A music game that *might* top Um Jammer Lammy.

Worst Branbekkastructures #19: MacGuffin's Curse

At first glance, MacGuffin's Curse is about moving blocks. Then batteries. Turns out... I wasn't wrong.

Super Brexagon #18: Super Hexagon

What's your favourite shape? Is it the triangle, a rhombus, a trapezium? If you said any of those, you're wrong. You just like the word Isosceles. So, unless you have a girlfriend who sings you Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and you like diamonds because of it, then the correct answer is the Hexagon.

Why? Because shut up. That's why.

Alliterating American Aligators #17: Flora's Fruit Farm

I could sit here, and go on about how this game is important in encouraging us all to eat our produce (once we rinse it, of course). But instead, I'll let you in on the real secret everyone plays this game.

The biggest Lions fans in the world #16: Amnesia- the Dark Descent

After being told this game was the scariest game ever, Rebecca decided to give it a whirl.

MM and DMD #15: Storm in a Teacup

Have you ever tried to squeeze your body into a giant tea cup and not fit? Did it come as a bitter disappointment to you? Well, we're going to sweeten up your day with another brantastic game.

 

Chopping Block #14: Dinner Date

For our one month anniversary, we decided we'd go on a date together.
That's right, mates, step up for Dinner Date.

Captain Branbekkasword #13: 9.03M

Another day, another weird game. This time with a nonsensical name.

Reflections of 2 Sick Peas #12: Draw a Stickman: EPIC

 Branbekka decided the best way to spend a lazy Summer/Winter day was to draw stick figures.

Maximum Magilla Mustard #11: Yumsters 2- Around the World

Always wanted to travel? Now you can, without getting off your ass. "What's the catch, Branbekka?", we hear you asking. (Yes, we can hear you. We're badass that way)

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #10: Proteus

I've spoken on behalf on nontraditional games in the past. Argued for games like Gone Home and Dear Esther to play with the boundaries of what makes a game.

That said: Damn it Proteus, be something.

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #9 Go Home Dinosaurs!

Throw another steak on the barbie, ya fuckin' galah!

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #8 Killing Floor

Deck the Halls with balls of zombies, fa la la la la, la la la la. Welcome to a special Branbekka Christmas review!

Killing Floor is a zombie FPS game. To celebrate Christmas, the infected are dressed in their best holiday gear. You'll be up against a wide range of specimens including; reindeer, gingerbread men, elves and Santa.

Jamirus Reviews / Overviews: Pokemon X and Y.

For my 6th anniversary, my true love gave to me! Pokemon Y. She got X. Deal with it.

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #7 Big Money! Deluxe

G'day mates.

Sick of being annihilated on Family Feud? Look no further, because I have the solution for you.

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #6: McPixel

Darth Vader.

A bear's asshole.

UFOs.

What do all of these things have in common? I don't know.

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #5: ItzaZoo

Hello loyal fans. Welcome to another Brantastic Beklog segment. Today we are bringing you a review, about ItzaZoo. (You're probably thinking that's the best rhyme you ever heard.)

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #4: ItzaBitza

You're probably thinking Itza Whatza? After playing this game for quite some time, I'm still not sure what the hell the title is on about.

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #3: Snuggle Truck

Snuggle and Truck are simply two words you never hear together. Trucks are not really known for snuggling. When two trucks snuggle, it is called an accident and sometimes people die.


Anyway....eh...this game is about stuffed animals.

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #2: Bunch of Heroes

Continuing our series of playing games no one's ever heard of, today we have Bunch of Heroes. That's, of course, a very generic and nondescript name. And yet, it's the best title for this generic and nondescript game.

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #1: Blueberry Garden

Steam has garnered a reputation for fostering massive game backlogs. When games are routinely on sale for 90% off, what kind of asshole would you have to be to pass on that? It doesn't matter that you have zero interest in Xtreme Granny Racing, it's only 2 dollars.

That is the Steam collection of one teh bekka, AKA Bekness, AKA Mustard, AKA DJ Nutbug. Shockingly, a great deal of these games are unplayed, or played very little. Her and I have thus endeavored to play and review every one.

First up is Blueberry Garden, whatever that hell that is.

Greatest Sounds of our Generations Special: All Dem Feels.

Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I've had the time to formulate another article. I know you guys have been all "Ohmigosh, where is he?! He said he would update regularly and It's been like forever since his last post! This is getting out of hand. Jamirus is the only reason I even go to this stupid site anymore! Every time I sit here and hit F5 to refresh the screen praying to goodness that a new and interesting post is submitted with that funky fresh Jamirus appeal I've come to know and love!" Well, specifically Gorilla, this post is for all you (1) guys and gals out there that have been waiting... and hoping... and sacrificing lambs for! YES! It's more music!

Speaking of Sacraficing and enjoying life and such, this one's a super special GSooG! ALL DEM FEELS. Here I will provide a list of songs that I find suitable for feelings that humans tend to have every now and then. Robots just can't understand. However, if they could, we would all be dest-

Greatest Sounds of our Generations: All Dem Feels!

Why did I pick this picture? It's fucking hideous.