Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Greatest Sounds of our Generations: Sega Saturn

Well, I have like 2 hours alone or something, so instead of watching porn and masturbating or swimming naked, I decided to write up a blog post. I'm not sure if this is the correct decision at this time in my life, but I guess I'll live.

So, up next for your viewing and or listening pleasure (if that's what you'd like to call it), I've decided to delve into the system that no one owned but me. The Sega Saturn!

On a side note, my cable just went out.

On another side note, my fridge is broken and likes to shoot water out it's back.

ON TO THE MUSIC!

Since no one even knows what the Sega Saturn is, I declare all games up for picksies. If you don't like it, ram Banana's ass with comments or dicks or something.


Number 10. Clockwork Night.


Aaah, a game that I've actually only played as a Demo. The Sega Saturn's library was both impressive and illusive to me. Not until recently did my brother decide to mod his Saturn to play more games than Nights, so I'll eventually get around to giving this game a whorl. You never know with me. Sometimes I'm as crazy as Gorilla.

Number 9. Daytona USA.

Fucking ROOOOLIIIING STAAAAAAAAAART!!! (Rolling Start!)

After all these years, I'm still undecided if I hate this game, or secretly love it and plan to have an affair with it once I'm married. Either way, this is what I scream before I climax.

Number 8. Sonic R.


Everybody's Super Sonic racing! Better keep your feet up on da' ground! Everybody's Super Sonic Racing! THERE"S NO TIME! TO FUCK AROUND!

And that's all I remember from this game.

Number 7. Thee Dirty Dwarves.


This game had it all. Multiplayer, dwarves, dirt, ect. It even had the famous grumbling in the music found in Zombies Ate My Neighbors. There's truly nothing more that needs to be said.

Number 6. Sailor Moon.


Are you kidding me? I get to slip in a sweet anime opening song into this list? Sign me the fuck up with that shit. Remember kids, any and all comments go strait into Banana.

Number 5. Marvel Super Heroes.


Spider-man ALWAYS wins. Anyways, it's not taking me for a ride, but it's still good shit.

Number 4. Guardian Heroes.


I assume this game got more popular after it was released for XBLA. But fuck you. It was a Saturn game first.

Number 3. Panzer Dragoon Saga.


How can this game not appear on this list? Clearly it's a must.

Number 2. Astal.


This is a really fun platformer. Unfortunately, my brother always forced me to play as the bird. In retaliation, I often took damage and got him killed. Good times, Famirus. Gooood tiiimes...

Number 1. Nights Into Dreams.


How could I not select this game as number 1? When I first had a Saturn this was actually the only game we had. After learning that the Saturn was going to die, we traded that shit in for an N64. Listen closely, folks. You can hear Home Alone in this song. All of it. I like the part where the traps happen and hilarity ensues.

Well, there we go guys. A sloppy rambling from a person that could have better spent his time masturbating. Enjoy!

9 comments:

  1. I'd never seen a Saturn in person until like 2012. The legends were true.

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  2. Gorilla Ravaging Tender AnusAugust 27, 2013 at 8:58 PM

    This was awesome, good stuff. My heart goes a flutter when I see the Saturn mentioned. It's the best console of all time.

    Nice to see 3 Dirty Dwarves on there, that game kicked ass.

    If it's ok with you, I'll throw Dragon Force into that tasty gumbo of yours. One of my favorite games.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq9YbzLjLJQ

    Also Virtua Cop and Panzer Dragoon come to mind as well.

    Here was a favorite Guardian Heroes track of mine
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpTbCtYWW6w





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  3. Thanks, Gorilla. My heart flutters when I see you.

    I'm all "Oh my stars, it's Gorilla!" and then I fan myself so I don't faint.

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  4. Gorilla Ravaging Tender AnusAugust 27, 2013 at 9:01 PM

    How long before "Anonymous" comes in and says "your grammar suks, this is a outrage"

    Oh, nice to see Astal, man... wow.

    Found this cool video with more good Saturn music
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reyxhHef01Q

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  5. God, or frickin' Von.

    I would like to listen to this, but my gal pal is watching Catfish right now, so... I gotta STFU.

    Thankfully, typing =/= talking.

    Also, Oh my Stars! It's Gorilla! *fans self*

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  6. Rico Famirus SuaveAugust 27, 2013 at 9:07 PM

    YOU SON OF A BITCH, I KNEW YOU WERE THROWING THE MATCH, I'M PUTTING YOU ON BIRD DUTY FOR ANOTHER 5 YEARS

    YEAH

    YEAH

    *humps wall*

    GET SOME

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  7. Oh god. Famirus! IT'S TOO LATE! HE'S ALREADY HERE!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViniGb4yTsY&feature=player_detailpage#t=153

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  8. Man, the Saturn was awesome.

    I miss it.

    Sonic R had some cracking music - iirc it was one of the first games that made me buy / steal the soundtrack.

    I also recall a baseball game with cracking sounds... But may be making this up.

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