Friday, March 29, 2013

Top Bananas #1 - Douchebags in Video Games.

Videogames share a lot of similarities with real life; there are buildings, shops, hills and trees, currencies, transactions, relationships, and a shit load of guns. There are also douchebags. In real life, douchebags are those asshats that you really want to punch, but can’t. Because rules and stuff. In video games, you can punch them (or at the very least gun them down while laughing maniacally), and it is glorious. However, just as douchebags have permeated, and ruined, every single aspect of real life, they have slimed, swagged, duck-faced, and chest bumped their way into every single pore of the humble video game (please be quiet, games have pores; go do some science and come back when you know what you are talking about). Douchebags have infiltrated games to the point where they are not content with simply being the ‘bad guy,’ the ‘humorous sidekick’ or the ‘love interest’; they have to be the main character; the protagonist, el protagonisto, the big cheese, or at the very least part of a party of player characters. And this sucks.
Go on - get this top ten in you.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

REVIEW - Bioshock Infinite (PS3/360)

Poor 2K Marin. It was a rather herculean task following 2007's Bioshock, this generation's first bona fide masterpiece, with a sequel. And while Bioshock 2 was a fine game, it never felt like the follow up Bioshock deserved. Now, over 5 years later, Ken Levine's Irrational Games has unleashed unto the world the real Bioshock 2.

With hype so high it's in the clouds, can Infinite possibly make as much of an impact as its much beloved predecessor?

Short answer, mostly yes.
Long answer....

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Retroulette #33: Bugs Bunny In: Double Trouble

Those of you born on this side of the Willenium might not recognize Bugs Bunny outside of a few appearances on a  lunch box or some shit. Back in the day Bugs was the man. He played ball with Jordan, sang haunting melodies in black-face, and slapped Nazis in drag.

It was a simply more awesome time.

The point is, cartoons used to be fucking cool. Nowadays you're all into the Beyblades and Little Ponies and whatnot. Is Beyblades still a thing?

Actually, I don't know what my point is anymore.

Bugs Bunny game on the Genesis.