Friday, December 27, 2013

Worst Branbekkastructures #19: MacGuffin's Curse

At first glance, MacGuffin's Curse is about moving blocks. Then batteries. Turns out... I wasn't wrong.

I begin my quest in a Museum. A Quest Log is given to me, along with the objective "Escape the Museum". When I think I'm finally getting the fuck out of there, I'm stopped by a man and I get to pick from several dialogue choices. The banter goes on for a while, and eventually I discover I can turn into some sort of werewolf.

Mission successful. I make it back to town. I visit my apartment. Most children would be shocked to see their dad transform into a beast. I guess, with this game being set in England and all, they're just a bunch of weirdos because this little strawberry shortcake ain't phased.

Oh, Ruby, honey, you are sooo naive.

The town is virtually empty at this hour. I can get into the pawn shop; however, there doesn't seem anything I am able to do except buy furniture for my apartment.

I'm going to buy some epic Pawn.
Wrong type of porn, you sick pea.

To the north end of town, I find a lady who enjoys licorice. To the south, a woman named Jane, whom rejects my classy pick up line and then has the nerve to ask us to find her bag. Find your own bag, bitch.
If you select the dialogue option about wanting to confess your secret (stealing the amulet and being able to turn into a werewolf) she says the city is full of crazies. This, obviously, includes me.

Smooth moves. *Sunglasses*
The more of this game I play, the more battery and crate pushing becomes involved. The idea of a silver crate, that can be pushed only, and not pulled, begins to frustrate me. The batteries are getting pushed into walls mistakenly and I have to keep resetting the puzzles. It becomes tiresome.

I already admitted I was when I confessed to you! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME, JANE. AND WHO'S THAT GUY ON YOUR FACEBOOK?

There was also a glitch involved where Werewolf Lucas wouldn't release the crates and batteries I was pulling. This meant that buttons that needed crates or batteries on them would not do what they were meant to do. This happened about 4 times. At this point I was MacGuffin's cursing at the game.

This game is ass. The humour is ass. The puzzles are ass.


  1. Seriously though. Where the shit is Verde Park?

    1. Push 69 batteries east, then licky boom boom down.