Saturday, December 21, 2013

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #10: Proteus

I've spoken on behalf on nontraditional games in the past. Argued for games like Gone Home and Dear Esther to play with the boundaries of what makes a game.

That said: Damn it Proteus, be something.

Proteus casts you in the role of......who the fuck knows. You are on an island also because who knows. Your objective is, similarly, who knows.

Go! Go forth and do nothing as you see fit!

The game presents a randomly generated open world, but without the usual trappings of things to do and see. There is no quest, there's no time limit, and there's no fail state. It's like a game version of Seinfeld. A game about nothing. But instead of memorable moments involving Soup Nazis and puffy shirts, Proteus offers some grass, maybe a tree if you're lucky.

Sometimes it rains.

The only thing there really is to do is follow frogs. Sometimes you'll find one of these bastards jumping around and if you follow it, it will make a crappy tune as it jumps.

Follow the green frog.

Eventually Bek and I decided that land is for chumps and took to the sea. We walked for about 10 minutes in one direction until we questioned what we were doing with our lives.

Somewhere, beyond the sea...


  1. Gorilla Licking AssesDecember 21, 2013 at 11:58 PM

    Huh. That's pretty much the exact experience I had with it, water and everything. How long did you two play it for? I plan to go back to it and keep looking , for something, at some point.

  2. Gorilla Licking AssesDecember 21, 2013 at 11:59 PM

    hahaha just noticed the final verdict

  3. The frog ribbets sounded like a bad Xylophone player.

    Aeris running shoes, always running... from something.

  4. Gorilla Licking AssesDecember 22, 2013 at 12:05 AM

    Hey, did... did you guys see the part where those dots fell from the trees?

  5. Shit. No. I better go back and play it.

  6. Gorilla Licking AssesDecember 22, 2013 at 12:40 AM

    Alright I went back to Proteus, and I figured out the deal with this game. Let me give you the backstory, first: I started off in the middle of the water, because that was where I quit the game. I had to swim back to shore. I followed a path, and at the foot of a tree, I saw what looked like berries of some sort.

    Whether they were, or not, I didn't figure out for sure. So the path ended up leading basically to nowhere. Here is what I figured out:

    If you click the right mouse button (secondary fire for most games), you will basically STOP moving all together, regardless of which way you were headed. So basically you're holding "W" key while moving forward, then you tap (just tap it, you don't need to button mash) and your character will basically HALT moving in that given direction.

    Takes a little practice but give it a go.