Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Alliterating American Aligators #17: Flora's Fruit Farm

I could sit here, and go on about how this game is important in encouraging us all to eat our produce (once we rinse it, of course). But instead, I'll let you in on the real secret everyone plays this game.

Flora's a babe. That is the only reason why anyone would play this game ever. I mean, look at her. That lesbo hair cut, the "I want to be like the come on Eileen video; but couldn't get hold of actual denim out here in the sticks" and the bowling shoes.

Flora needs to make some cash. And quick. So with a body and an attitude like that.... There's only one thing to do.

That's right. Sell your fruit. Sell your motherfucking fruit. Flora's like a one man band, only with fruit. She grows the trees herself, grows her fruit, keeps bugs off it, cuts the fruit from the trees and carries it to her stall, tends to customers. What a treasure.

Different customers want different things. They have favourite fruits, and also have hearts above them to show their patience level. The hearts deplete if a customer with a dog isn't served, or if they have a long wait before they are handled.

Look at that sweet, juicy pair... of apples.

Flora sets up shop in several locations. Hey, even eskimos need fruit too, right?

Spoiler Alert. After 7 hours of clicking fruit, you save the day and Flora goes on a beach vacation. Shit. I didn't adequately mark spoilers.

If you like watching the paint dry, this is the game for you.