Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Saucy Mustard VS Steam #5: ItzaZoo

Hello loyal fans. Welcome to another Brantastic Beklog segment. Today we are bringing you a review, about ItzaZoo. (You're probably thinking that's the best rhyme you ever heard.)

The game follows the same formula as ItzaBitza. This time we're picking up the slack for some very lazy zookeepers whom are too concerned with other things instead of looking after the animals at the zoo.

Initially, we're helping a Lion. He has some odd requests, including finding a golden mouse and getting it cheese. We also make a bush for him, one that is supposed to be big enough for him to hide behind. Yet as you'll soon discover, he's easier to find than Wally.

It doesn't take an Everyday Genius to find this guy.

We must draw a moon, and tell him what he'll be dreaming about that evening. Considering lions in real life only spend around 4 hours awake per day, this could be one hell of a dream.

Sweet dreams are made of this.

The next animal to require our assistance is an Elephant. She needs something built for her to balance on, so she can show off to the Zoo visitors. We decided to draw her something incredibly awkward to ride. Mostly for the lulz.
Smoother moves than Wario.

Two other demands the elephant had included building a tent and giving her a playmate. Once the playmate arrived they proceeded into the tent and music began playing. We can all assume this means lighting some jasmine and listening to Barry White records.

It's not what it looks like!

Welcome to the Monkey House. The monkey has some frogs who he dances with. You can also make him intentionally slip over banana peels, much like Toad does in Mario Kart.

I can make as many motherfucking frogs as I want. Eat shit, Qu's Marsh.

There is a problem with the trash can I draw, it's too large to fulfill the objective of "fill the trash with banana peels". However, the same rule of "too big" doesn't reply when it comes to giving the monkey a playmate to see-saw with.

My favourite scene in the game came next. Our Polar Bear friend asks for a cake, a diving mask so he can look for treasure underwater, and for a slide near his igloo.

Top of the muffin, TO YOU.

Admittedly, the igloo we drew for our furry white friend looks like a distorted Bomberman face. This was the least of our worries when we drew our Whale friend in. Unsuspecting the game would auto-add a blowhole, what appears to be a pleasure seat fin is on the whale's back. Whoops.

Riding the whale looks like fun. ;D

This game is fun for anyone who's into animals, (No, not that way you sick fuck) or anyone who likes to draw.

A note from Rebecca: I was asked about how how we rate things around these parts. Today's rating is a Fag Flag out of a Penis Bubble Wand. If this does not make sense, then I don't know how much clearer I can make it.


  1. Your rating makes total sense to me. Thanks for the insight!

    ~ Kei Montague

  2. Pedo Lion knows he's sexy.
    ~ Evan O'Connor

    1. HIS NAME WAS LESTER. Or Lenny. Or whatever B suggested. >_>

  3. Umm, excuse me but there seems to be a typo in this article. At one point it reads that Toad intentionally slips on banana peels in Mario Kart, when it's actually spelled "Boo".

    ~ Worst Branbekkastructures