Thursday, January 16, 2014

It Doesn't Seem Like This Package Is Big Enough #30: Little Farm

Little Farm has a Big Story.

The Normans move from the city to become farmers. They start off with a small house with a few crops.

First things first, put on your proper farming attire:
Now that you've dressed the part, get ready to pick crops. Lots and lots of crops. [Spoiler alert, there is no rockmelon. You may as well just take it out of your Steam cart now. Bitches love them some Melon.]

 On the off chance you're still here, I'll tell you what happens next. The trucks need to be filled with produce within a time limit. Along the way you will get bugs. You spray them once or they destroy your crop.

There will also be rabbits who you must click 3 times to get them to fuck off, or they will destroy your crop. And birds, who will land on your crop and destroy your crop. There is also rain puddles that try and destroy your crop.

Of course, every farmer needs a farm supply store. Some of the things are ridiculously priced, but when you're making $30 per piece of fruit, it doesn't seem to be an issue.

As your farm expands, you get to view more hilarious cutscenes about a guy who knows a little too much.

The farm is also visited by a guy wanting some toe-mah-toes. There's also a rival named Rick who wears a blue suit. Clearly, he fails at being Racey.

There really isn't much else to say about Little Farm. The gameplay itself is very tedious and repetitive.


  1. Little Farm-ville.

    1. Who is this Pyro fellow, and what has he done with Cook?

  2. #zombiekids, #DoesntThatShopkeeperLookFamiliar, #TheHeatedDebateRagesOn

    1. Shopkeeper infects zombie kids with poor quality cantaloupe

  3. Gorilla Wearing Suspenders With No Shirt UnderneathJanuary 16, 2014 at 11:07 PM

    It seems that the all knowing guy always has some excuse for not doing the task that you got stuck with.

    "Boy I know everything there is to know about farming!!"

    So why don't you do this, then? I'm not anywhere near as skilled as you.

    "Alas, tragedy struck in the form of a terrible curse, 30 years ago a man named..."

    Alright, alright, I'll fucking spray the bugs

  4. I didn't even understand the story. The plot made no sense at all. City folk move to the farm... roger roger.

    Then what the fuck happens? It's like they just thought fuck it.