Monday, April 14, 2014

Easter Week: Chocolate Castle

Welcome to Easter Week on RoboBlog. This week, we'll look at a series of games that are in some small way tangentially related to Easter. So buckle up as we play a bunch of game that may have mentioned a bunny somewhere.

We start Easter Week off with a bang!

Literally, there's exploding cats in this game.

The only good cat is one in a thousand pieces.

Chocolate Castle is a puzzle game. In it, you are tasked with helping a group of anthropomorphic animals eat entirely too much candy. You must move the candy and/or the animals around until they can eat the only candy that they like. Pink pigs only eat pink chocolate because who else wants that shit, white rabbits only like white chocolate because they are racist, caramel coloured bears only want caramel coloured caramel, and brown dogs will only eat chocolate, because their owners are irresponsible. 

Turn this...
...into THIS, with little more than 200 moves and dozens of hours!

The game starts out simple enough, with puzzles that require not much more than the ability to distinguish between at most four wildly different colours. Quickly, and with almost no warning, it becomes a nightmarish exercise in coming to terms with one's mortality, accepting failure, and learning to love again. Often, you will ask yourself if the puzzles even have solutions, or if Lexawaffle Games simply gave up developing it.

Pictured: The end of Chocolate Castle, probably.

Chocolate Castle is a fun, challenging puzzle game. Play it with your sweetie, and comfort yourself with the knowledge that you're not stupid, Chocolate Castle is just stupidly difficult.


  1. Very classy "fuck this" babes. *continues dreaming of Pepperoni*

  2. I've been listening to what the internet has been saying, and I hear that liking a game with animals makes you a sex-a-holic. I'll give it another whoa say 5 years, when it's OK to like games with animals, then give this one a try.