Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Arsenio Navarro doesn't reply to my boyfriend's emails #44: Mercenary Kings

Word round the water cooler is that shooters have been getting boring lately. The online communities are dying out, sans a few of the bigger titles. Well, I hope this one sticks around because it is actually really awesome.

Mercenary Kings is a game where you get to fuck around and experiment with different gun parts.

First, start out by heading to the right and entering the Hunting Grounds. It will help you get a feel for your gun, there's plenty of bunnies and foxes and birds to shoot at.

She wants the V.

When you're ready, embark on some missions. These generally consist of collecting materials, killing a certain type of enemy or killing a boss. There is usually optional objectives and a secret objective which will help you get more cash for your missions. A lot of them are on the way to the objective anyway, so are hard to miss.

Babes running away from the action. He clearly didn't spend enough time at the Hunting Grounds.

You have 3 lives, so 3 chances to succeed. If your lives are depleted, it's mission failed. You do get to keep any materials you picked up, however. You have the option of using a transceiver, this comes in handy if you need a door blown down but have no C4, or if you're out of first aid kits. Be warned, though, that you have "BP" AKA Battery Points and can generally only use the transceiver twice per mission and the BP is shared with your fellow players (if you're on multiplayer.) Keep in mind, each mission has a timer and you can also run out of time to fail a mission.

Game over, man.

We do sometimes beat missions.

Each player can only carry a certain amount of weight. This will help determine your speed in game, and will also determine what you can put in your inventory. Each player has 4 slots, but 2 of these will be taken up at all times with your weapon and your transceiver. You also carry a knife, this doesn't take up an inventory slot, but it does contribute towards your weight.

Meat Knife "meats" Snake gun.

Between missions, you'll be taken back to your hub. The hub is a campsite, where each player gets his or her own tent. There is a store where you can craft gun parts, buy healing items, grenades or C4. Gun parts are crafted using materials as well as cash. You can also craft decorations for inside your tent or on top of your tent. The same formula, materials + cash, applies for getting these. You can also save gun builds, which are stacked up inside your tent. You will also want to make sure you build armour, so you can make your character tougher.

Bekness in action.

Each player can also equip up to 2 Bionic Mods. Bionic Mods can help you on your missions, and may need to be changed depending on what you're exactly looking for. The mods generally have a downside. For example, Lucky Penny will help grant you more materials from enemy drops, but you will get less cash. A mod Branbekka have found helpful has been a healing mod that allows me to heal both babes and I. This helps clear up inventory space for babes to be able to carry other things and can come in handy if babes is in need of heals quickly.

That's a fine looking burger tent.

Building and equipping mods.

The camp gradually expands, as throughout the missions, there will be several hostages which you must save. The hostages are then recruited. As you rank up, more gun parts become available and more ornaments and banners become available.

We have a chef. (Once you get him from a mission) He's angry looking and his name is T-Bone. He will make meals for you before missions which give you bonuses for the quest ahead.

Shuddup and make me a pie.
 There's honestly so much more I could have said about this game. Tribute have done an amazing job.

Beware the Robot Squad.

And remember, If you're stuck for heals, I'd like to suggest to you the "free ration" strategy. A personal favourite on the Gamefaqs Mercenary Kings PS4 board.


  1. Um Jammer Lammy even managed to get into the review.

    Great review babe. We need to get back into this when you get a new controller. We can't let those spear bitches get the best of us.

  2. Well, he is my go-to-always-picks-the-girl-guy.

    Thanks honey. I love you xx

  3. Great review! You picked my best picture, too. Love it.

  4. Aw thanks, Um Jammer Lammy. Can't wait to play more with ya.

  5. Wow, this game looks awesome. I had no idea it had that much to it. Reminded me a little of getting new weapons in EDF as I read it.

    >>She wants the V.<<

    What exactly does this mean

  6. I love EDF.

    V = vagina. You know when people say "she wants the D"? I changed it to V. ^_^

  7. There is a chance you're qualified for a complimentary Sony PlayStation 4.