Sunday, May 4, 2014

Throwing Bees At All Your Problems #49: Faerie Solitaire

Faerie Solitaire is a very unassuming little game. It would be very easy to pass right by it, never realizing what a gem you're missing. It wasn't until it became one of the first Steam games with trading cards that people checked it out, and discovered its juicy secrets. I originally played it as a joke, laughing at its expense until the moment I couldn't stop playing.

You may remember Solitaire as that game you tried once when you got your first computer and never played again. But let me tell you, this ain't your grandma's Solitaire!

Unless your grandma plays Faerie Solitaire. You may have a badass grandma, I don't know.

DJ Wrinkles Soli-tearing it up at the clubs.
What sets Faerie Solitaire apart from boring Solitaire is that you're really just trying to make long combos of cards. It's very simple. Cards from the deck are flipped over one at a time. From there, you want to click cards that are 1 higher or 1 lower (the suite and colour don't matter) until you run out of options.

This is called, "having fuck all".
It can be pretty fast paced, especially if you're trying for one of the "fill up the purple bar before so-and-so time". You may overlook some pretty rad combos. Luckily there's a limited amount of undo chances, and I recommend you play with a sexy Australian to help you avoid mistakes. You will randomly get "spare" cards that you can use in an emergency, or to just keep a combo going longer.

And this is called, "kickin' ass".
 The game throws obstacles in your way, such as thorn cards that are locked until you clear other cards first, or ice cards that are...locked until you clear other cards first. But then you shoot a fireball at them, so it's cool.

While playing, sometimes you'll find materials like stone and wood behind cards because¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You may also find eggs. When you hatch the eggs, you are given a pet. As far as I know, these pets do absolutely nothing for you. But you can feed them wood and stone and shit to make them different somehow. It's all a little...ah...pointless.

Gotta Catch 'Em All! For-some-reason!

 Each level consists of nine hands you must complete in order to rescue a Faerie trapped in a cage. Why this is, I have no idea. I skipped all of the story in this game. I can't have shit getting in the way of my combos. Each level also has a few objectives you must complete, or that bitch stays locked up.

And that's how you can be perfect and still lose.
Faerie Solitaire is an addictive game. It's one of those casual games you're not supposed to like but can't help playing.


  1. I liked it before it was cool! In your face, world!

    1. Yeah, same with wearing bandanas and saying "And not in a fun way".

      You're a trendsetter, babe.

    2. I didn't start the bandana trend, that was you.