Friday, May 9, 2014

Early Access Strikes Again #5: ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS

My babe got this game for us to play together. I was excited to play some action packed arena-style combat with her.

Early Access thwarts my plans again!

The problem with a lot of Early Access games is you can't be entirely sure what you're getting. When browsing Steam games, you naturally expect a game's feature page to be accurate. But with Early Access games, they are allowed to list features that they intend to include.

You know, someday.

When they get around to it.

Whatever man. Game makin' is hard.

The developer of ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS doesn't come down to where you work and tell you to put onions on their burger just because it says they're there on the sign.

Here's the issue:

For the first time my problem isn't that there's no trading cards. The game clearly displays multiplayer and co-op capabilities. After you buy the game, and it's too late, you find out the truth.

Sure, excavate the Store page long enough and you'll find some warning. Not in a handy "This game does not feature online multiplayer right now" alert, but through the fact that Online Multiplayer is not featured on the list of things that are in the game.

You really only have yourself to blame.

Well, as for the game itself it's a deceptively simple action game wherein you fly a rocket that shoots rockets at other rockets (the name, at least, is upfront). The battles take place in large arenas that feature plenty of obstacles to fly around and run into.

You have to wonder if this whole game isn't some convoluted fertilization metaphor.
Other than the aforementioned rockets, you can drop mines, and there's shield of some sort as well. Most of the battles involve circling each other over and over again missing with your attacks until the other rocket makes a mistake. The rockets leave a cool coloured light trail everywhere they go, so by the end the levels look like a Jackson Pollock.

That rocket is a little bent.

1 comment:

  1. "You really only have yourself to blame."

    Feels so personal. Like, Oh Rebecca, you fucking dumbass, read the store page or be THWARTED.

    Great review for a meh game.