A Grown-Ass Man Continues To Play: JumpStart 3rd Grade

Back to Mystery Mountain! Last time, we put up with Polly's bullshit long enough to find one of the clues needed to find out where she sent one of the robots. But you have to find like four of the damn things.

Per robot.

And there's like 25 robots.

Polly, you're a straight up bitch.

Sony, you have GOT to be shitting me

Sony.


Sony, Sony, Sony.


You're not doing too great these days. I understand that. You're cutting jobs, shutting down developers, canceling games. Things aren't looking great for you right now. Even worse, the Vita isn't doing too hot. It has a decent but small library of games, and so much potential it hurts. But there's a problem....

Jamirus' Pushmo Adventures Episode 1: To Push or Not to Push; A Mega Man with a Mega Problem

Ever heard of the game Pushmo for the 3DS? I have! I've also created a few levels for the WHOLE WORLD to enjoy! This is Jamirus, bringing you my...

PUSHMO LEVEL OF THE WEEK!

It's way better than it looks!

Where he at?

Hello, everyone. It's the rare an elusive Jamirus. Much like a Porygon in the wild, I have been very difficult to catch lately.

I would like to apologize, mostly to Luchalma for my lack of content. Lately, I've been busy with life. I know. You've all just said "Uuuugh" with your mouth open to the side, waving me away like a very rude deaf person. My living predicament is less than optimal at this time, and writing anything down on my computer creates a constant flow of ridiculous questions that my high blood pressure just can't take. This would be the reason I'm updating at 7 in the morning.

However, I would just like to let you know what it is I have planned for the future!

Proceeding this post, I plan on creating a new series that will have a less than 1% margin to be enjoyed by anyone but myself! (Oh boy!)

I have finished Kingdom Hearts 3D, so I will craft a review for this. (Shit, now I actually have to do it!)

A while ago I downloaded Colors! 3D for the 3DS, so I'm going to start drawing more at work so I can share my caveman art to you all!

I've still got to do the SNES version for Sounds of our Generations. This is another one that can be difficult to do at home, as questions pour in as to why I'm listening to "shit".

I'll try and get another transcript for "Robotic Buzzkill" done soon, as well.

To recap. I'm not dead yet!

Thank you all, and I can't wait to provide entertainment for you!

-Jamirus

Let Us Have a Moment of Silence

Sony, in its continuing efforts toward irrelevancy, has decided to close Sony Computer Entertainment Liverpool. A respected developer with a portfolio of titles going back almost 30 years, SCE Liverpool (formerly Psygnosis) was truly a studio that has shaped the way we game. With such hits as G-Police, Discworld, and most famously the Wipeout series of racing games, their presence will be missed. The--

Wait a second...

To HELL with them!


In all seriousness, pour one out for Psygnosis.

Retroulette #30: Billy Bob's Huntin' 'n' Fishin'

Do I even have to say anything?

Billy Bob's Huntin' 'n Fishin', for the Gameboy Color. There's no part of that title that doesn't fill me with apprehension. As I say it aloud, every word only adds onto the creeping sense of doubt and anxiety.

Let's get this over with.

REVIEW - Sleeping Dogs (PS3/360)

Another month, another open world crime sandbox action game.

This game had a bit of a troubled development. Originally a new IP, then retooled into a reboot of the True Crime series, it was cancelled by Activision due to delays and budget problems. Eventually it was picked up by Square Enix and released as Sleeping Dogs.

Who gets the last laugh?

A Grown-Ass Man Plays: JumpStart 3rd Grade

Nostalgia. We all have those relics of our childhood that instantly bring us back to the halcyon days of yore. The days when you could spend all day sitting in front of the TV eating Spaghetti-O's and watching cartoons. Well, I'm doing that now, but it seemed better back then.

JumpStart 3rd Grade is one of those things for me. It was an educational PC game for the 7-9 crowd. And instead of being shitty, like most things you associate the word "educational" with, I for some reason have fond memories of it. I never beat it, and I don't expect I will now, but how much ass can I kick at this game as a man in his twenties?

The Bourne Legacy - A Review In Haiku

Retroulette Special: Total Recall

In the spirit of the last three posts, I thought it would be interesting to play the Totall Recall game for the NES. It's universally maligned, but I've never played it. How bad could it be?

Gaming On The Red Planet

Hours ago, the Mars Science Laboratory Curiosity touched down on the red planet. And the people rejoiced. With the landing, we were treated to Gameboy Camera quality pictures of the planet's surface.

Mars, apparently.

Boy, you probably said, I sure wish I could walk around on Mars. With the magic of computational videoed gaming machines, you can do just that! So let us take a journey to the ginger of the solar system.

Total Recall (2012) - A Review In Haiku

Retroulette #29: RoboCop Versus The Terminator

The crossover.

Few ideas seem better than taking two great things and putting them together. Aliens and Predators, Freddie and Jason, Superman and....the Quik Bunny.

Always remember that this happened.

But very rarely does this idea ever truly work. Most of the time you have things that should never be together in the first place. And when it does work, it's really only notable for the novelty.

Today, the robots are very excited to make me play RoboCop Versus The Terminator for the Sega Genesis.

This is a crossover that demanded to be crossed over. But is it better left to the imagination?