Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Sony, you have GOT to be shitting me


Sony, Sony, Sony.

You're not doing too great these days. I understand that. You're cutting jobs, shutting down developers, canceling games. Things aren't looking great for you right now. Even worse, the Vita isn't doing too hot. It has a decent but small library of games, and so much potential it hurts. But there's a problem....

I'm convinced someone high up at Sony hates the damn thing.

Like seriously, a blood vengeance sort of hate. This mystery man (Or woman. They have woman at Sony, right?) wants this thing dead. Only then will the spirits of his (or her) dead ancestors go in peace. That's the only way I can explain Sony's handling of the device.

"Fuck you Vita! I will silence these voices."

It launched with, by far, the best lineup of games any console has ever seen. But there was a dark secret Sony wasn't telling. That launch lineup consisted of just about every single Vita game in development at that point. Entire months went by with out a single release. And when there was a new game to play, Sony made sure to only advertise it inside Chinese takeout boxes and behind dumpsters.

Damn it Sony, it's not even facing Earth.

When they announce a new awesome looking game game, they make sure to declare upfront there's no reason to buy a Vita to play it, your PS3 will do just fine.

And now, the day that many have been waiting for has arrived. PS1 support is now officially live on the PS Vita, and many who were hoping to ease the game drought with favorites from yesteryear were rewarded.

Woooooooooo PS1 games!!

Or, they would be, if more than 9 GODDAMN GAMES WERE SUPPORTED!

Reason to buy a Vita - Sony

How the hell do you fuck up so badly? You're looking a lot like another game company I remember. A little group of people, full of dreams and shitty business moves. One failure after another, a continuous string of baffling decisions. Do you know what happened to that company, Sony?


  1. Gorilla With Dog Shit On HeadAugust 29, 2012 at 12:56 AM

    Haha werehog... You ever end up picking up Gravity Guy?

    1. Hell yes. Gravity Guy is my favorite.

    2. While that does suck, 3ds had the same problem. Moar games will come!

  2. Gorilla With Dog Shit On HeadAugust 30, 2012 at 10:50 PM

    Luchalma, who do you think that anonymous character is? I'm hoping it's not the government

  3. Its Jamirus. I am too lazy to sign in.

  4. Gorilla With Dog Shit On HeadSeptember 17, 2012 at 12:08 PM

    I'm sorry, Ja... Jamirus I believe you said your name was? Let me explain how things work on this site. You sign in, alright? It shows respect for the 2 writers here. These 2 guys bust their balls, and I'm not about to let some goddamn New_User1 ruin the experience for them.

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