Wednesday, May 9, 2012

What Do You Get For the Hero That Has Everything?

Therapy. As I've mentioned before, I have a little problem when it comes to games. WRPGs in particular.


I'm a digital hoarder.

Yes, it's true. Recently I started playing Skyrim for the first time (yes, really!) and very quickly I encountered a familiar scenario.

You are carrying too much to be able to run.

Why?! Why does this always happen?

Because I can't learn to stop picking up useless shit, and even worse, I have trouble letting it go. This follows the symptoms for compulsive hoarding perfectly.

  • Hoarders tend to hold onto a large number of items that most people would consider not useful or valuable.
 Seriously, why the fuck do I need 30 brooms!?

  • The clutter in the home is so bad it causes illness, distress, and impairment.

The "home" in this case is my sweet body, but the idea is the same. I'd say having to walk slower than an old lady riding a tortoise is an impairment for sure.

I only have this problem in these games, but it's in every one of them. Why am I collecting flowers? I've never once tried to brew a potion or whatever the hell it is you do with them!

But why can't I stop it?

"Don't mind the mess, I haven't vacuumed in a few days."


  1. Hahahaha, so true.

    I enforced on myself a Loot:Weight ratio while playing Skyrim, and even built a little Excel formula for it on my iPhone.

    It worked like this: I would input the value, say 560, and the weight of say 50. On one measure, it would divide by (3 I think it was..) to give me the actual saleable value of the item.

    On another measure, it would then spit out my loot/weight ratio of: 11.2

    I was finding that tiny little items like ingredients might have a relative Loot:Weight ratio of 25 or higher.

    True story.

    ...Sad, I know. I even put in a cell with formula:

    =IF(A1>25,"HELL YES","NO")

  2. When I first played Skyrim, I had Josh next to me with his Iphone app - we would see some potential loot, and run it through the "loot potentiometer" to ascertain whether or not it was worth picking up.

    The good news: fantastic inventory stuffed with "potentially" phat lewts.

    The bad news: The actual vendors never had enough money to buy all my shit.


  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. I got a roids addiction in Fallout 3 thanks to carrying too much crap to run!