Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Don't Call it a Review - Minecraft (Xbox360)

So. Minecraft.

Released a week ago for Xbox Live Arcade, I've put in enough hours to formulate an opinion, if not a clear one. Despite the fact that it looks like a PS1 game, my crappy ass laptop couldn't handle it, so now I can see what all the fuss is about.

For the uninitiated, Minecraft is a game where you smack trees and punch sheep. You also build things, mine things, farm things, and kill things. And you do all of this because you tell me. It's an open world of limited but endless possibilities.

And in my opinion, they are almost all boring.

I'm the kind of person who prefers a more structured game experience. This, I won't deny. But I also know how to make my own fun when given a blank canvas. The Forge mode in Halo Reach, for example, has given me hours of delight. So I find it hard to believe I just "lack imagination", as I have been told several times in relation to this game. There's just nothing really interesting for me to do.

I did build this floating lava waterfall though.

You're thrown into a randomly generated world, with nothing more than a map. From here, the objectives are your own. At night monsters, like zombies and spiders, come out and roam the world. They will kill you quite easily so it's in your best interest to build a shelter first. From there you can sleep until morning, and when you wake up you can gather more resources so you can build more things until it's night etc. etc. etc. And that's it. That's Minecraft. Building is fun, in the same way playing with blocks was as a child, but it's everything around building that gets in the way of the fun. If you're building something large, it can take hours just to collect enough blocks to build it. And that's pointless busywork. And at first, the idea of surviving the monster hoards sounds exciting, but when I'm  building my masterpiece, it's just annoying when night hits and the fiends come out.

I just want to build a tower you Creeper bitch.
The game can be set to Peaceful mode however, and monsters won't come and try to kill you. This serves to make the game even more boring though.

Yes, I know I don't make any sense. But I'll choose annoying over boring. Though it's mostly still boring anyway.

I also built this floating house, with a floating bedroom and a floating waterfall flowing through the house.

Apparently, several patches are planned for the 360 game, to bring it closer to the current PC build, which has numerous additions and changes. Among these is a Creative mode, giving you the chance to build with infinite blocks, without all the grindy hours of lame ass mining, and the ability to fly, ridding you of the need to build a series of stairs, ramps and pulleys to build your pyramid. This interests me greatly, so I wait in great anticipation for these upgrades.

As it stands now, I could take it or leave it.

And this is my floating glass palace, complete with two floating waterfall elevators.

Despite everything I said above, I've put hours and hours and hours into this game. I don't like it, but I want to build stuff damn it, and I have to mine for a long time to make that happen. This game is impossible to rate. Not even with the usual "Ass/10" kind of rating. This game will be something different to every single person who plays it.

And maybe I really do lack imagination.


  1. I still haven't played it, but I surely SHOULD

    1. There's just as much chance you could love it as there is the alternative.

    2. I never got into Lego as a kid, maybe that's why I can't identify with it either.

  2. I always suspected I'd be bored off my arse by this game. Your review has pretty much confirmed it, so thanks for saving me hours of grinding to get something mildly satisfying at the end.

  3. A rather interesting review. I noticed that you had plenty of creativity in Forge but were drawing blanks for MC. For me, it was the other way around.

    I used to knock MC till I tried it a long time ago and got in really good with some friends. I've quit playing since then, but I had a lot of fun with it during the time I did play.

    Hopefully the updates coming soon reignite your interest.

  4. This should go back in the popular list. THE PEOPLE DEMAND IT. (well, actually they don't or it'd be on the fucking popular list)