Monday, October 29, 2012

Top 5 Spookiest Games of All Time. Jamirus style.

Games generally don't scare me. I can rush through Silent Hill like there's no tomorrow. However, there's some games out there that are just too scary to play. I always WANT to play them, but my heart palpitates, and I just can't turn on the system to play the game. Usually this results in me doing nothing for the rest of the day. Scary stuff, folks. Scary stuff.

But what games stop me in my video games tracks? I'm going to count down the 5 games that I just can't play and the very thought of them ruin the rest of my day, turning me into a honest to god potato.

Number 5!

Dead Rising.

Why does this game scare me?

When I first got my Xbox, this was the first game I got. I was super hyped for it, because Luchalma talked it up, plus the idea of killing zombies in a mall is AWESOME! Love Dawn of the Dead! Man, this was a super fun game at the time. Unfortunately, I played this game so much when it was first released, that I actually got nightmares. Thankfully, I completed it and got the best ending my first time. (Take that, Luchalma!) The true horror comes afterwards. On my second play through I decided to try and save 50 survivors for the achievement. Holy crap, that's a mistake. The AI is so terrible in this game. Trying to get survivors to listen and go where they are supposed to is a nightmare within itself. This seriously made me turn the game off at like 25 survivors and never turn it back on again.

Don't even get me started on the 7 day survivor. I tip my hat to anyone that has that achievement. I would rather fly in an airplane than get the 7 day survivor achievement.

(I'm scared to do that.)

Number 4!

Resident Evil 3

Why does this game scare me?

If you've ever played this game, it's very simple. Nemesis. Not only do you have to deal with Zombies that pop out of everywhere and scare you, Lickers that have mutated and suck to fight, Hunters that are always awesome, there's also Nemesis that literally chases you from screen to screen. He runs, he has a rocket launcher, and he's scary as hell.

Another thing that's scary about this game is the randomized puzzles. Seriously, Capcom? Ugh. Luchalma and I played through it about a year ago, and god damn, those puzzles alone made me want to shut it off and never turn it on again. Christ, that's scary shit.

Number 3!

Chrono Trigger

Why does this game scare me?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop pummeling me with rotted tomatoes, people! Hear me out, hear me out! I swear, this game is scary!

For a long time I've had a fear of things like time travel, or being stuck in time. It's a pretty horrible and horrifying concept if you think about it. Changing something in the past could have catastrophic consequences in the future, perhaps destroying the future in the process. It's scary shit, people.

However, the worst thing that I can't help but not think of every single time I play this game, is when Chrono, Marle and Luca go from 1000 AD to the future, their parents are left to wonder what the hell happened to their children, each and every time they do it. How fucking terrible is that? Every time they go into the future, which is quite often, their parents are left to put up posters and slap their face on milk cartons, only to never know what happened to their children.

And it's not like they could say "Oh, by the way, mom. I'm headed into the future, enjoy the rest of life without me!"


Number 2!

Resident Evil (Gamecube)

Why does this game scare me?

Resident Evil for the Gamecube is truly a horrifying experience. Not only does it have (In my opinion) the best graphics of the series, the atmosphere has been enhanced to just suck you into the game. The zombies look fantastic, the difficulty is just right, and it's all around a great experience. When I was a kid, this was really the game that I really wanted to play, but just couldn't bring myself to turn it on, resulting in a boring day. On top of that, once you beat it you can unlock modes such as one danger zombie, where a zombie is strapped with explosives and 1 shot will destroy the mansion. Add that with the invisible zombie mode and it's pretty much impossible not to poop your pants.

On top of all that, the zombies can come back to life as the scariest creatures ever, Crimson Heads.

This is another game Luchalma and I played through within the last year, and he, hilariously, got stuck in a save room with 2 Crimson heads on the other side of the door. It was probably one of the most intense video game moments, watching him try to get away.

A true classic.

Number 1!

Home Alone

Why does this game scare me?

This is a shout out to the first survival horror game ever. In this game, you play as Kevin who must survive in his house for 20 minutes. You have traps at your disposal, which you set down to knock out Harry and Marv for a few second. This game will make you shit your pants. It's pretty much impossible. Setting down the traps over and over again will eventually make them disappear. If you make it close to the 20 minutes, Harry and Marv get a speed  boost. There's so many times that they'll come at you from both sides, and there's nothing you can do but lay down in the fetal position as they have their way with you. This game is fucking scary. Do yourself a favor and play this shit.

Also, every time you get caught, you're forced to see this screen.


There you have it, guys! My top 5 scariest games, both in fear factor and psychological thrillers. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!


  1. Gorilla Skipping With Pumpkin BasketOctober 29, 2012 at 7:39 PM


  2. First of all, Resident Evil 3. I played that game when it first came out, and I remember getting in trouble with my parents because at one point Jill was very low on health and limping, and thundering behind her was Nemesis, rocket launcher in hand. We were SCREAMING at the television scream for her to run at the top of her lungs. RUN! RUN YOU BITCH! GET OUT OF THERE!

    And Resident Evil 1. God, I wish I could take a pill that would erase my memory of that game so that I can play it again for the first time. Again. I remember so much about that game being so great at the time. The snake boss. The dogs in the hallway. Finding the science lab under the mansion. The fucking Magnum. That game was so amazing at the time.